Learning obedience is hard, but what is even harder? Learning when to disobey. In Habits of Friendship: Obedience we talk about obedience to parents, teachers, and God. But, we also talk about hard subjects like peer pressure and civil disobedience. Dive into Habits of Friendship to teach obedience and disobedience!
What is Habits of Friendship?
Maybe you missed the first post that introduced The Habits of Friendship program. If so, head over here to read up on the program and get your free, printable progress tracker. You can also download the first five lessons here:
- Habits of Friendship: Communication
- Habits of Friendship: Manners
- Habits of Friendship: Emotions
- Habits of Friendship: Conflict
- Habits of Friendship: Groups
In short, after Habits of Learning took shape in my mind, I began to realize it was an incomplete program. Our lives are not just about learning, they are about more than that.
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.Luke 2:52, KJV
In this verse we see that as Jesus grew from child to man, he developed in four areas of his life:
- Wisdom: Learning and education
- Stature: Physical health and wellness
- Favour with God: Spiritual development
- Favour with man: Social and emotional development
Habits of Learning focuses on the “wisdom” part of that verse. Habits of Friendship will focus on “favour with man”. These are the two modules that will be taught, two times a year at A One-Room Schoolhouse.
Preparation For Habits of Friendship: Obedience
Once you have completed the progress monitoring circle listed in the introductory post, you are ready to dive into week one Habits of Friendship: Groups. Here is all you need to do to get ready for this week:
- Download the lesson plan (link below), print it if desired.
- Bookmark this blog post that includes live links to use for each lesson containing a video.
- Print off the resources included at the end of this post.
- Gather a few softballs or soft toys.
- One of the following stories (links to videos on the blog) Louise & Andie the Art of Friendship, Big Friends, The Invisible Boy, or Owen and Mzee: The True Story of a Remarkable Friendship.
Now you are ready to go!
Remember to Practice
The general instructions for the Habits of Friendship stay the same from week to week. This week (and from here on out) you will want to encourage your children to do the exploration activities from the previous week’s lesson.
This may be a copy sheet, hymn study, or memorization. Maybe they might like to read a book from the list or watch one of the video links. It does not matter which activity they do, what does matter is that they are still thinking about and learning about the previously studied habit.
Furthermore, make sure you are always looking for ways to praise your children as they progress in the previously studied habits. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO!
This focus on continual practice and praise will help further development and generalization. It reinforces the idea that we are always working to improve ourselves.
Special Elements of Habits of Friendship: Obedience
Discovering the Rules of Belonging
- Observe: Look at your peers. What are they into, for example, music, shows, books, movies, and games? What do they wear? How do they talk? Where do they like to go? How do they act in class? What do they do for fun?
- Keep a mental or physical list of these answers. You don’t have to be the same, you are just observing.
- Evaluate: Do you like these same things? Do you like to dress that way? How do you act in class? Are those things fun for you? Are there some personal habits you would like to change about yourself?
- You don’t have to change who you are to fit in. Find your tribe! But, upon evaluation, you might realize you are doing something that is socially awkward or is distancing you from belonging.
- Experiment: Experiment with personal improvement. Can you improve your grooming? Maybe you can read a new book or try a new game? Can you work on your listening skills and conversation starters? Are your manners on point?
- Our social skills and manners can always improve. Embracing self-improvement can be the ticket to finding your tribe.
- Engage: After you have experimented with a little self-improvement, it is time to engage. Strike-up a conversation. Invite someone to do something with you. Join in a game. Walk with someone new.
- Remember, rejection and failure are part of life. In your attempts at social change and belonging, you might fail at first. If so, just start the cycle over again. Try observing new people and situations. Experiment with different personal improvements.
Dealing with Peer Pressure
To deal with peer pressure all you need to have is a little SWAG! These are four options that might help you out of a sticky situation.
S: Stop and say no. You can say nah, I don’t think so, not today, maybe later, no, never, not gonna, nope, not right now, or not for me. It does not matter how you say it, but choice one is to stop and say no.
W: Wait. Yup, your next tool is to push the choice down the road a bit. I am not ready to do that. That’s not for me right now. I can’t because I have a big game coming up. I’m gonna wait on that for a while. That could get me in a lot of trouble right now and I don’t want to deal with that. I care way to much about ____ (my body, my test, my grades, my game, my family, my car, my money) to do that.
A: Avoid and Alternatives. Sometimes the best tool is to avoid peer pressure all together. Don’t go the party where you know they will be drinking. Don’t hang out with kids that will ask you to do things you don’t want to do. But, if you can’t avoid, then another good idea is to give an alterative. You might say, How about we watch a movie instead. Or, let’s go play basketball. Or, man, I am too hungry for that, let’s get some food.
G: Get out. Sometimes you have to be prepared to get out. Leaving maybe your best option. If you feel unsafe, be prepared to leave.
Summary of Daniel
When Judah turned away from God he allowed the enemy nation of Babylon to capture the Jews and take them away to Babylon. King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon commanded that the brightest and most handsome captives be educated and taught to serve in the Babylonian courts.
When Daniel and three other young Jews were told to eat the king’s food they refused because it was food that God had forbidden Jews to eat. When the officials saw that these young men were healthier and stronger when they obeyed God’s food laws, they allowed them to continue obeying the Lord. These four young men impressed the king because they were smarter than all the men in the king’s court.
But this was not the only time Daniel disobeyed the law of the land in order to obey God.
After some time, Darius was the new king of Babylon. When he saw that Daniel had served Babylon well, he appointed him to be a government official. Other jealous officials plotted against Daniel by tricking Darius to make a law that said you could only pray to King Darius, not God. If anyone disobeyed the law then they should be thrown into a pit full of lions.
Daniel decided to keep praying like he always did even with the new law. The king’s evil helpers had been watching Daniel and saw him pray to God. They went straight to the king and told him about it.
Daniel was put in the lion’s den, but was saved by his obedience to God.
Grow Our Community
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